This audio book was recommended to me and before I listened to it, I did not know who Nely Galan was. Her background is in the entertainment business, mostly behind the camera running television stations, but she has also been on the Celebrity Apprentice in 2008. In addition, Nely is the founder and president of a real estate development and investment company that has commercial and residential real estate holdings in multiple states. Warning Nely is American and therefore a lot of her references are off course American. This audio book was very easy to listen to, extremely motivating and very inspiring. Most of the book is an autobiography with Nely telling you her emotional and hard lessons in life which have shaped her. She also provides lots of examples of self-made men and women. She challenges you by asking questions to work through in the chapters. From her stories she gives you great advice on how you can become what she calls, "SELF MADE"! "What does it mean to be self-made? It’s not just about having money, but financial empowerment is where it begins. It means getting out of survival mode, where you are one problem away from catastrophe. It means changing your mindset from instant gratification to goal orientation. It means being able to sleep at night without worry. It means being rich in every way: rich in money, rich in family, rich in love, rich in time—abundant!" What I also love is she calls it a movement and has a deep passion to ensure that as you grow and become self-made you share with others around you so that the movement spreads. Here is her website for those who want to know more... http://becomingselfmade.com/
Below I have summarised her main insights: there is no prince charming, think like an immigrant, make fear and failure your best friends, choose yourself first, go get your own chips, in your pain is your brand, life is about your mission and your money, don’t buy shoes, buy buildings and have a vision for your life and be prepared to sacrifice to achieve it.
FORWARD
The foreword was prepared by Suze Orman (is an American author, financial advisor, motivational speaker, and television host)
I have been known to sometimes skip this section if it doesn’t grab me in a book. But I must say, Suze Orman who introduces the book did grab me. She shares the same philosophy's as does Nely. She understands that only YOU can save yourself, it is up to you to value yourself.
She explained that she has the following sayings and linked them to what Nely explains in the book:
I say, don’t put yourself on sale, Nely says, choose yourself
I ask you to live below your means, Nely asks you to live like an immigrant
We both love the word "sacrifice".
To own your power, I say own your name, Nely says declare yourself.
They both share the same belief that the goal is to be truly rich in every way.
INTRODUCTION TO THE BOOK
Nely Galan is very proud to call herself self-made, especially as she wasn’t born in America, didn’t have a college degree, didn’t have an obvious skill or talent or didn’t invent a multimillion dollar product. She just describes herself as an ordinary women who had an extraordinary life because she took success and happiness into her own hands. The main aspect of a self-made women is that she is free because she is financially independent. She acts as if she has an owners stake in every aspect of her life. She is empowered, self-reliant and rich in every way. Rich in money, rich in family, rich in love, rich in time - abundant.
Self-made women are all around us. Nely had examples and as I was listening to them, people I knew popped into my mind, and I believe they will for you to? A self-made women is the cleaning lady who books through her website and processes payments through pay pal, the free-lance nurse who process payments through square, the franchise owner who employees her whole family, the corporate employee who sells her jewellery designs on ezy, the empty nester who rents out rooms in her house through Airbnb and the baker who promotes one of a kind cakes on Instagram. Never before in history has living an entrepreneur life been more attainable. I have heard this comment a few times now and it is all due to the digital age. As Nely explains you can start a business at home in your pyjamas, without quitting your job! You can also ask your children for support as they are great with social media and thereby teaching them that they are not just entitled to everything in life.
Her wish for us - to live a rich life in every way. She believes that financial empowerment is where it begins. It means getting out of survival mode. It means changing your mindset from instant gratification to goal orientation. In time it means being able to work because you want to, not because you have to. Self-made is about having a dream and the desire and discipline to work towards that dream. Her favourite word is sacrifice. You need to put your money where it can grow. The key to her story is that even when she was making money she still scarified, she did not live large. She re-invested her money in real estate. In time she was able to live off the income from her investment properties. That gave her freedom to do the work she wanted to do, work that nourished her creativity and spiritually. The only person you can change in your life is yourself - and when you change yourself, people around you change. A grounded and secure aurora emendates from you without the need to say anything. You send a message that says you are complete and with this change, things begin to happen.
The road to being self-made will be different for everyone and require different efforts and time. You can't do everything at once but you can start right NOW! There is no growth without courage.
Important questions for you to consider on your self-made journey?
What do you want out of life?
What are your goal's?
Who or what in your life has disappointed you?
Where are you stuck?
What is your biggest fear about the future?
What are you greatest dreams?
What are you waiting for?
9 LESSONS TO BECOMING SELF MADE
Nely explains the Prince Charming fantasy is believing that if we play the good girl and work hard, some-one is going to recognise how amazing we are and make everything okay. A man, a situation will come along and deliver us to the life we have always wanted! This is a dangerous fantasy. When we rely on some-one else to make our dreams come true, we give up on our dreams. You give up on your personal power and get trapped in a pattern and blame others and tell ourselves that they are standing in the way of our future.
To empower yourself you need to stop making excuses and take action. We need to kill prince charming and kill the fantasy as it keeps us small.
Look deep inside, you can be your own prince charming.
With this in mind, consider the following 5 ways you need to kill the Prince Charming illusion—however it happens to manifest for you: Your husband, wife or romantic partner, your super boss, your dream job, your kids, the notion of "someday".
Your boss is not your hero. Nely has turned her past bosses into prince charming, looking up to them. She did this as she was seeking their recognition and approval, she thought this was the way to get ahead. Instead when it's the appropriate moment you need to tell your boss what you want, if the answer is not what you want to hear you need to start planning your next move. Do not see your boss as your savior. Your boss needs you to do a job and do it well. It's your responsibility to grow and prosper to get to the next level, it's not your bosses responsibility.
Don’t fall in love with a company. Nely explained she has worked for some sexy corporations. Don’t make the mistake of turning your company into your Prince Charming. “When you work for a company with a big recognizable name, it’s easy to get sucked in. Sure, it can teach you a lot, but it’s like marrying royalty: when things end, you get stripped of your title, and you go home a commoner.” Her advice here is to give all to your job, but make sure that you cultivate something on the side.
Don’t make your child your prince or princess. The love between child and parent is a beautiful thing but don’t become dependent on your child or your child dependent on you.
The concept that Nely explains here is to embrace some of the mentality and values of immigrants. She gave us an interesting statistic - In 2010 more than 40% of fortune 500 companies were founded by immigrants or the children of immigrants. In her words, "Immigrants don’t subscribe to magical thinking. They tend to be more resilient and determined to bounce back from setbacks and to do a lot with a little because they understand that uncertainty is a part of life. They understand the self-made mindset out of necessity." In most cases immigrants have migrated to leave bad experiences in their home land, usually moving themselves and their family bringing with them very little. This mentality above is what Nely would like us to embrace. Sometimes the unexpected happens, a natural disaster, medical issue that drains your resources, or your company down sizes and you lose your job. You can't prevent this from happening but we can lessen the damage by being prepared. The more prepared you are the better off you will be. That is why you need to stop thinking in survival mode - stop living pay check to pay check or even worse living off some-one else's pay check.
Here are 9 ways you can start thinking like immigrant entrepreneurs: 1. You live in one of the best places in the world for women and for business. 2. Be willing to start at the bottom and work your way up. 3. Give up your sense of entitlement. It’s not serving you. Your ego is the first thing you need to toss as you get on the road to becoming self-made. Humility, sacrifice, perseverance, stamina and willingness are the kinds of words you should embrace, the ones that should replace any traces of entitlement. 4. You and your family are in it together. Work as a team. 5. Start early and leave late, in everything you do. 6. Every road has a business lesson to teach you. - try lots of different things 7. Entrepreneurship takes passion and stamina. 8. Start with your own community - look for people like you, sell to them first 9. Get out of survival mode.
The best piece of advice she gives to prepare when the unexpected happens is to become a "doer". Living our best life is the only way to prepare ourselves for the unexpected. We must live the life we desire every day. Just start working towards your goals- even if you only put aside one hour a week! In a year it will all add up - put the money you make away for your dreams. By also taking this action you will be in a place of power, which is a much better place to be if the unexpected happens.
In her opinion Fear and Failure is the biggest obstacle to overcome. First we have to accept that they are inevitable, then we have to learn to confront them.
Fear tells Nely there is something I must do even if it scares her, and failure tells her that she missed a piece of the puzzle that she needs to see in order to get it right next time.
Fear is a feeling, it's not a fact. Is it just something you have to work through. Failure has to be mourned before you can move on. She recommends, don’t think, just do it. Let your actions lead the way and your feelings will follow!!
"To be chosen, you have to choose yourself first. You can’t sit around waiting for someone else to make success happen for you. You have to be the one to make it happen, and that starts with recognizing your gifts and your strengths. It means having a goal and honoring that goal and stating your intention to realize that goal. Don’t wait for magic to happen. Make it happen. Choose yourself first."
An example Nely gives around choosing yourself is around women she meets at her events… they say things like;
"I like to cook" instead of "I am a chef"
"I help organise my friends closets" instead of "I am a stylist"
If you want people to see you as you are, you have to declare yourself, stand up for what you believe in. People will notice you when you choose yourself and therefore choose you.
Invest in yourself, you need to work on any negative talk that occurs within. Some of Nely's success here has been keeping a journal, and every week she writes down the things she is grateful for, her accomplishments for the week and the things she still needs to work on. You may need to get professional help, and this is a great example of investing in yourself. This include a life coach, spiritual teacher, Nun, priest, therapist - who ever fills that role in your life. No-one needs to go it alone.
When she needs an extra bit of confidence, she channels the confidence from people she admires and she "acts as if"! When she needed that extra confidence for example in board room meetings, she would ask herself what would her mentors do - then she would go and do it and act like them. Her advice around choosing mentor's is you don’t have to have met them. For example one of Nely's is Warren Buffett, she has never met him but she models his success. She reads what her writes, looks at all the interviews he does. She considers him, her self-appointed mentor.
Wow! This part of Nely's life and her advice I think will resinate with a few people. Nely was working for a successful TV station manager in New York and during a 3 year period put her personal life on hold to give it her all. Unexpectedly the station owner sold this company to another buyer and Nely was made redundant. She was so upset that she drove to the TV station managers office, ready to give it to him about the sale. His response to her was, “Those are our chips, you want to play, Go get your own chips.”
In the moment she knew she had tied herself to the idea that she had to be some-one's employee. No more, she realised she had to think bigger, think like an owner. She decided that she never wanted something she worked so hard for to be taken away from her again. She was going to be her own boss and "go and get her own chips"!!!
A couple of other bits of advice she gives after she become self-employed (while still free lancing at first) is to:
Lower your overheads - her examples; sold car, moved into smaller apartment with lower rent.
Listen to your inner voice but stay open enough to hear good advice.
Pivot - re-vamping your strategy a few times till things come together and click.
FOMO (fear of missing out) is tough but it's part of the journey
You will miss stuff! Even on holiday time! Don’t get discouraged, the party is where you are because you are working and building something. Her question she poses to ask yourself? Do you want to spend your life watching what other people are doing, or do you want to do what other people watch?
Statistics show that people give up on their dreams in the second year. She mentions getting her "own chips" wasn’t easy but doesn’t regret it.
Questions to ask yourself before you "go get your own chips"?
Do you have enough money in the bank (starting with 1 to 2 years of income saved)
Cut your expenses and reduce your overhead
Can you overcome your pride and fear of rejection
Do you have a financial back up (had skills so could work as a freelancer on the side, continuing to build skills and contacts)
Can you pivot and change course when needed (learn to re-focus)
What is your competitive edge (ie had skills of running TV station, and could speak Spanish (bi-lingual)
Do you have flexibly where you live and work
Are you willingly to sacrifice for your dream (didn’t buy new clothes for 4 years when starting her business)
Are you in it for the long haul (don’t let set back distract you, do you have a belief in what you are doing)
Simply stated, most of us have a pain story and this story is the gateway to your success. As you solve the pain, and come up with solutions, this becomes your business. You find the audience for that pain and support them by giving them the solutions. You can create a brand better than anybody as you have been through the pain yourself - it becomes your passion.
Your mission is whatever gives your life purpose and meaning and brings you joy. Your money is what you do to support yourself and your family. These don’t always align, they may run parallel for years until you have enough money to dedicate your resources exclusively to your mission. If you are lucky your mission also makes you money. Nely states very clearly money must come first to support your mission. So while making money you must cultivate your mission - they say it takes 10,000 hours to be a master at something.
Here is an article from Nely's website "7 Ways to Create Your Side Hustle" that may get your creative thinking around coming up some ways to for additional income.
Her advice here is very much just that, stop spending money on disposal items and put money aside to spend on a big idea, your dream! Instead of spending money on instant gratification - more stuff you don’t need.
Advice she received from an old boss who if he had his time again, said he would have bought buildings once he started making money and bought his house last! You buy property that brings you income i.e. rent. You can buy yourself a house but until you sell it, it is a drain on your resources and you are emotional about it.
Great point that Nely makes is sacrifice is not the same as suffer. This is where she makes it extremely clear to have a vision that drives you forward and clear goals that will be your sign posts along the way. You really need to know what you want and you have to be able to sacrifice consciously to get it. Questions to ask yourself - What is the vision I have for my life? And what am I willing to sacrifice to make that vision a reality. Another key point here is to be able to sacrifice with joy and purpose.
Is it possible to have it all? A question if I ask I receive lots of different answers for!! She believes it is possible to have it all, just not all at the same time. There is a time to sacrifice and then a time to enjoy.
From the book summary above, it all comes down to the below questions for you to take stock of your life.
What comes easily to you?
What has always been a challenge?
Where you do you want to make changes?
Give up the fantasy - have you given up on your rescue fantasy?
Listen to fear - has it shown up lately, how is it guiding you
Chose yourself, declare yourself, discover who you are, thinking like an owner
Take power - is there an opportunity for you to take power
Use your pain to find your brand?
Invest in yourself - what are you learning, who is on your support team
Commit to your money - what do you do to make money, how much are you putting away
Identify your mission
Embrace sacrifice - what are you willing to give up for your long term goals.
I hope you enjoyed this book summary and that it is given you a few things to think about? Open to feedback and please let me know if you also have a books to recommend around mindset, time management, health & wellbeing or financial freedom ? These are the areas I love to learn and am always looking for great books to read/listen to which I can share back to all!
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