This book provides the opportunity to review how you are living life and understand what is holding you back from living in your "genius zone". I loved this book for all the examples that were given and also some simple solutions to then set goals to turn your life around.
Below are very summarised notes on the main points I loved in the book. They may entice you to pick up a copy or download a copy from audible. Enjoy and feedback is welcomed.
*ARE YOU WILLINGLY TO TAKE THE BIG LEAP:
Gay Hendricks asks these 4 questions right at the beginning of the book:
"Am I willing to increase the amount of time every day that I feel good inside?"
Then: "Am I willing to increase the amount of time that my whole life goes well?"
Then: "Am I willing to feel good and have my life go well all the time?"
And, finally: "Are you willing to take the Big Leap to your ultimate level of success in love, money, and creative contribution?"
Don’t spend your precious time worrying whether it is possible instead will you let it be possible for you. He gives an example of in the early days we capped the speed on steam-powered train's to 30 miles per hour as we thought any faster and the human body would explode! Eventually some brave people risked going beyond that limiting belief and found they didn’t explode. Can you do the same?
*GENIUS ZONE's:
Gay talks about 4 zones and our life's big leap is discovering our zone of genius.
Zone of incompetence. All the activities you are not good at. Others can do these things a lot better than you. Solution here is to avoid doing these. Love his "stuck on stupid" quote from his grandpa, you keep doing the same dumb thing and don’t learn from it!
Zone of competence. In this zone fall the activities that you are competent at. This means that you can do them, but others can do them just as well. Solution here is to delegate and let others do these tasks and free up your time or find a creative way of doing the tasks. For me personally I have a cleaner so that I can spend more time with my children on the weekends!
Zone of Excellence: You perform activities extremely well. Most people make a good living in this zone. But you are capable of so much more.
Zone of Genius: You are uniquely suited to do these activities as they draw on your special gifts and strengths. By focusing here you will live a successful and satisfied life.
*BARRIERS TO YOUR ZONE OF GENIUS:
What holds us back from living in your genius zone is what he called "the upper limit problem (ULP)". "Each of us has an inner thermostat setting that determines how much love, success, and creativity we allow ourselves to enjoy. When we exceed our inner thermostat setting, we will often do something to sabotage ourselves, causing us to drop back into the old, familiar zone where we feel secure."
These upper limit problems present themselves via 4 hidden barriers which are based on "FEAR" and false beliefs. Gay believes that most people have at least one barrier, he hasn’t meant some-one with all 4! We subconsciously take these as true or real until we shine awareness on them and then we are free and liberated. You may consider that you have 1 barrier that may be stopping you from becoming successful - and you are not alone, no matter how successful you are.
I cannot expand to my full potential because ________________(fill in the blank). For example in relationships your upper limit mantra says, "I cannot enjoy abundant love and relationship harmony because of _________________ "(fill in the blank). In financial wealth your upper limit problem mantra says, "I cannot expand my full wealth potential because _____________ (fill in the blanks).
Hidden barrier No 1- Feeling fundamentally flawed.
You feel that there is something wrong with you. It is that little voice in you that says you shouldn't be this rich or happy etc. because you are fundamentally flawed. In the past when you reached success these thoughts infiltrated your mind and would sabotage you. If these thoughts do come to you, recognise them and that you are facing an upper limit problem. Then decide - you can go back to how things were (don’t challenge the belief) or you can let go of that limiting belief and make great things happen.
Hidden Barrier No 2 - Disloyalty and Abandonment
You feel you can't be successful as you will be disloyal to your family, leave behind people from your past and you will end up being all alone. The best way to deal with this ULP is through communication and speak opening with your family and friends. Gay explains "behind every communication problem is a sweaty 10 minute conversation that you don’t want to have". However once you have this conversation there will be relief as well as communication that will open up allow you to solve the situation.
Hidden Barrier No 3 - Believing that more success brings a bigger burden
I can't expand to my full potential as I would be an even bigger burden than I am now. We need to recognise this guilt and remove it - you have nothing to feel guilty about.
Hidden Barrier No 4 - The Crime of Outshining
Worried about outshining and making others look bad. This barrier is very common among talented and gifted children. They believe that some-one else may need the attention more than you do. As you let your own talents shine through you unconsciously give others the permission to shine as well.
What I love about the book is that he gives great examples that give you an awareness of where these ULP may occur for yourself and how you can move forward from them. "One great thing about Upper Limit work is that it doesn't take much time to spot where the problem is coming from. Once you see it, you've turned on a light in a long-dark room. There's cleanup work that usually needs to be done, but with the light on, it's not that hard.
*COMMON WAYS THAT WE UPPER LIMIT OURSELVES?
Worry - Worrying is only useful if it concerns a topic that we can do something about and we have control to change it. Is there any positive action I take right now that will make a difference?
Criticism and blame (including self-criticism) - Gay's advice here is try and stop it for a day and see if it is an addiction? This is a very popular way of busting up positive energy. It is only useful if directed at a specific thing and produces a useful result.
Deflecting - keeps the positive energy from being acknowledged and received. Deflection keeps us from challenging ourselves and preventing us from expanding our capacity.
I love one of the examples of an interaction between two co-works after one gives a presentation. Jo says "you did a great job on that presentation". Jack says, "Nah I ran out of time and had to leave out some of the best stuff". Jo says, "still I noticed people were really paying attention". Jack says "well I am glad they were not paying to close attention because they would have seen more places I messed up". Let's make a change to that conversation. Notice how simple and gracious the conversation could have gone if different language and acceptance of the positive energy was allowed. Jo says "you did a great job on that presentation". Jack says, "Thanks I appreciate you for saying that, I am glad it came across well as I felt bad about running out of time and leaving out some of the best stuff".
Squabbling/Arguments - Gay states that in arguments between two people, they both race to occupy the victim position i.e. why are you doing this to me. Each entity in the conflict has 100% responsibility for resolving the conflict. Therefore if two people are involved in an argument there is 200% responsibility.
Getting sick, getting hurt - When things are going well some of us have a pattern whereby we get sick or hurt. Some of us never take the time to explore our emotions/minds and the impact on our physical health. The 3 P's: Punishment, Prevention, Protection. Gay uses these 3 P's as a map to understand the driving force behind his upper limit problem.
Integrity breach - Quickest way to bring you down. The most popular ways are lies, broken agreement and withheld truths. These stop the flow of energy.
*BREATHE INTO YOUR FEAR
Gay explains that "Fear is excitement without the breath". "The same mechanism which produce's excitement also produce fear". When we feel fear we think that we can eliminate it by ignoring it. We also hold our breath. The less breath you feed your fear the bigger your fear gets. When you do feel fear, make sure to take deep easy breaths. Feel the fear instead of pretending that it does not exist. By breathing into it you will change it into excitement.
*LIVING IN EINSTEIN TIME
On Einstein time we are where time comes from. "Recall Einstein's colloquial explanation of relativity: an hour with your beloved feels like a minute; a minute on a hot stove feels like an hour." In this concept as you are the producer of time, you can make as much time as you need. Take ownership, claim time as yours. Ask yourself this question, "where in my life am I not taking full ownership". "Stress and conflict are caused by resisting acceptance and ownership". Once you claim ownership you can have resolution. To get success here you need to stop complaining about time - stop being the victim. Eliminate the term " I don’t have time to do that right now". This is a polite lie, you are really saying "I don’t want to do that right now". You are placing the blame on time. A better way to express this statement is, "I want to finish what I am working on first, then I will do _____________"
Let me finish this review by one of the great quotes in the book to get you thinking?
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