“Do one thing every day that scares you”. Eleanor Roosevelt
Everyone’s comfort zone is different, have you stopped to think about your comfort zone?. Our comfort zone is a psychological state in which things feel familiar, you are at ease and in control of your environment, experiencing neutral levels of anxiety and stress.
As Brene Brown (author, researcher & storyteller) describes our comfort zone as “Where our uncertainty, scarcity and vulnerability are minimized — where we believe we’ll have access to enough love, food, talent, time, admiration. Where we feel we have some control.”
Everyday examples of our comfort zones are driving to work the same way, using the same cubicle in your toilet block at work, or watching TV on certain nights of the week.
Just as everyone’s comfort zone is different, wanting to step outside of it will look different for all of us too. I recently have been taking micro-steps and building on them, just like you would walk up a ladder – slowly stretching myself each step. Not saying that it hasn’t been uncomfortable, but I have chosen to take smaller steps versus the massive action. Neither is right or wrong.
One of the reasons I take smaller steps is that I was once told the best way to initiate change, in the context of self-development was to ensure I can take as much pressure off of my limbic system – so that I can tell my brain I am safe. The limbic system is the part of the brain in charge of the fight or flight and other survival responses that evolved to keep us safe. If I am activating that part of the brain it is going to be difficult to be in a learning state.
Knowing that impact on our limbic brain I like how Karl Rohnke explains our “comfort, stretch and panic” stages and I use this when supporting others to move forward and get out of their comfort zone. Let’s explore each zone.
Comfort Zone
The comfort zone by definition is the most comfortable of the zones. In this zone, we don’t build any new skills or take up any challenges. We do what is familiar and what is safe – sometimes we may be on auto-pilot. Most of us need some days in the comfort zone, when we have the calm and headspace to reflect on our experiences and then step back into the stretch zone (below) to apply that learning.
The Stretch zone (Learning/Growth Zone)
You make progress by choosing activities in the stretch zone. In this zone, challenges are looked upon as a way to grow, mistakes are looked upon as a way to gain experience. Think of the growth mindset. Stretch is where you work to expand your knowledge and understanding, looking for creative ways of working – always adding to your confidence levels.
In this zone, some levels of anxiety are experienced but they are manageable. You are ready to deal with some uncertainty. When you complete something in this zone you get a huge feeling of accomplishment. Daniel Pink, author of Drive: the surprising truth about what motivates us says;” if you are too comfortable you’ve not productive and if you too uncomfortable you are not productive. Like Goldilocks, we can’t be too hot or too cold”. So we are looking for this productive discomfort!
Here are some examples of activities I have seen to get out of your comfort zone:
· Joining a committee at work
· Volunteering
· Challenging your body
· Go somewhere alone (if you never do that)
· Go with a friend (if you tend to go alone)
· Have a crucial conversation
· Having the courage to say no to make room and say yes to new activities
· Take classes/learn a new skill
· Putting forward your idea’s in a meeting or to a friend
On a personal note, writing this article is an example of getting out of my comfort zone into the stretch, learning, and growth zone.
“If you want to feel secure, do what you already know how to do. But if you want to grow go to the cutting edge of your competence, which means a temporary loss of security. So, whenever you don’t quite know what you are doing, know that you are growing”. David Viscott
You don’t need to live outside your comfort zone all the time. Celebrate the wins and have time to reflect and also rest and prepare for the next time you want to expand your circle.
Benefits to leaving your comfort zone
There are so many benefits of getting out of your comfort zone and one quick google and you will find numerous advantages. Here are a few I have seen people or myself experience:
· Self-improvement
· Taking action to achieve your dreams and desires
· Increase in productivity
· Opportunities are made available to you
· You become more apt to challenge yourself
· Get to grow and discover a sense of self
· More confidence
· Allows for more creativity
“If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got”. Henry Ford
Panic Zone
Can we take it too far? According to the research we need to watch out for is the panic zone. Pushing too hard can sometimes cause a negative result for some of us. Here, your energy is used up by managing and trying to control your anxiety, so you have little or no energy left over for learning. If you become so anxious that you can no longer think, and you don’t even know how to approach the activity you may have reached the panic zone. This could occur when attempting something dangerous, far beyond your reach, or under high stress. Stay in tune with what takes you outside the growth zone. Know that it is okay to not take on too much too soon and stop and reflect.
I found this following exercise to be very helpful in exploring your zones, it is from the book, The Confidence Solution – Seven steps to confidence by Chloe Brotheridge.
Draw 3 circles on a piece of paper. Label the inner circle comfort zone, the inner circle stretch zone, and the outer one panic zone.
Step 1: In the inner circle, make a list of the actions you feel comfortable with. Examples might be; making phone calls at work, meeting with people one on one.
Step 2: For the next circle, ask yourself, what would be a stretch for me? That is, not so it feels impossible or your palms sweat at the mere thought, but enough to feel slightly uncomfortable. Examples might be, being on a conference call at work, meeting with people in a group larger than two.
Step 3: For the outer circle, think about what fills you with panic. Maybe it’s the thought of chairing a meeting or going to a networking event? If so, in they go. This circle can be addressed at a later date.
Step 4: Now, what action can you take, move into your stretch zone?
The process of self-development and stepping out of our comfort zone never ends until we die, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility. The conclusion is that there is no conclusion, there is only the next step! And the next step is up to you.
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