In the last couple of months, I have been putting my thoughts & learnings together for a confidence workshop. This has given me the space to reflect on my own confidence journey. In the photos above there may not be any obvious signs that there are any differences in how I showed up to facilitate these presentations. I can reflect and realise by putting in consistent effort, understanding what confidence means to me, acting on the courage to take a risk I have been able to expand my confidence.
I have not achieved my ultimate goal yet, although looking forward to continually improving in this space.
When I reflected on what makes the differences in these photos, I can summarise that I have been focusing on the below 8 concepts.
Fundamentals – Continually working on my fundamentals, which for me are sleeping, moving, and eating well. I know if I don’t sleep enough, I do not show up embracing the identity of a confident person.
Embrace personal responsibility – I have become an advocate for change and self-improvement. One thing that has supported me is knowing myself. I regularly take the time to understand my values, strengths, and what I would like to achieve via setting goals. On reflection Covid gave me the opportunity to let my hair go natural, I wonder if being more authentic has helped me too.
Be kind to yourself. I have become kinder to myself while I am learning new behaviours or skills – Everything changes when you are more compassionate to yourself. As they say, speak to yourself like you would your best friend. This 3-minute video from Kristen Neff explains it better than I can! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BTQP7XzDxjI
Commit to getting stronger – I committed to improving and using the growth mindset philosophy. “I never lose, I either win or learn” – Nelson Mandela.
Connection – having a group of individuals that I can connect with who lift my spirits and support me. Who do you connect with for this type of support?
Comparison – After working on self-worth mostly through the teachings in our Diploma of Modern Psychology, I can catch myself when I am comparing to others which leads to feelings of not being good enough. I now know if I measure myself against others that I am measuring myself against their definition of success and happiness, not mine. As Theodore Roosevelt said, “comparison is the thief of joy”.
Vicarious learning – Seeing others achieve something you would like to achieve and knowing that if it is possible for them, it is possible for you. Just in my unique and authentic way. Learning through others has been rewarding. The key call out is not to negatively compare (as in point 6) and instead be inspired and ask what you can learn through that person.
Social persuasion – I enjoy working with coaches, they always have my back & believe in me. The same goes for myself, I can be my own coach. I can also persuade and talk to myself like a coach does. I am in my head all day long and have worked on my internal dialogue to support me versus becoming a critic.
A few concepts that may help you to reflect on your confidence journey and where it could lead you in the future.
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