In self and peer coaching I have had success with a concept called, BE DO HAVE.
Maybe you have heard of it referred to as:
Act as if (Neuro-linguistic programming – NLP)
Identity goals (James Clear in Atomic Habits)
Begin with the end in mind (Stephen Covey in The 7 Habits of highly effective people)
In this article, I am going to explain Be Do Have, and walk you through this worksheet HERE so you can take the opportunity to apply this powerful concept for yourself. You can use the Be Do Have formula for anything you want in life, either personal or professional.
One important note before we start – you will be listing certain qualities. Not having all these qualities yet is okay, because they’re all skills which can be developed. The great thing is, you are taking the time to complete this worksheet, becoming self-aware, and moving toward the change that you want for yourself.
'Recognizing that you are not where you want to be is a starting point to begin changing your life.' Deborah Day
What is the Be Do Have concept? It can be explained as:
first, we 'be' what we want (peaceful, confident, disciplined),
then we start 'doing' things from this state of being (daily breathe work, speaking calmly even when stressed)
and we discover that what we’re doing brings us the things we’ve always wanted to 'have' (Leader in your company)
'Be' represents, (personality traits, values, virtues, attitudes, beliefs, and preferences). If we want better habits, we can start with the who. Who must I be?
'Do’ represents the behaviours & actions. What must I repeatably do?
‘Have’ represents the results. What we want to achieve. All the things we want in life.
'You have got to be before you can do and do before you can have.' Zig Ziglar
If you have focused on what you want (be at a certain weight, own a new car, etc.) You may like to first explore who you need to be to achieve these goals.
Check out this 2 minute video from James Clear. He explains the ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity.
‘It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.’
How to get started with the worksheet.
Grab the link to the Be Do Have Worksheet here.
Step 1: Take a slow deep breath in, and a slow deep breath out.
Step 2: Go to the bottom of the worksheet. Write down something that you want in life. Ask yourself in your life right now what is your deepest most heartfelt desire? What do you want?
Step 3: Go to the top of the worksheet. Identify up to 4 or more personality traits/values/virtues/attitudes/beliefs and or preferences you need to be to achieve your goal? Write them down.
Step 4: Identify at least 3-4 action steps you would need to accomplish to achieve those personality traits/values/virtues/attitudes/ beliefs and or preferences. See the example in the below picture to help you bring it all together. Have – Loose 10kg in body weight by the end of the year.
Be – a healthy person (identity). A personality trait a healthy person could have is, Disciplined.
The activities (Do) a disciplined person may have:
Hire a Personal trainer and work out 2 times a week with those appointments in their diary.
Set a bedtime at 9:00pm every night with an alarm reminder at 9pm.
Write down what you eat daily and have a nutritionist review your eating with you monthly.
Have an accountability partner, and meet weekly to sign off on your goals.
Ask yourself, do the choices you're currently making reflect the life you want to create? If not, is today a good day to grab the worksheet and start designing who you want to be.
If you have any questions feel free to reach out.
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